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FEMALE MONOLOGUE
You are turned on by this aren't you? This is actually getting you
off. Standing there smug as I beg for your forgiveness. Maybe it's
something I deserve. I mean I did make the mistake and I guess I need to
be held accountable for it. We both know that you don't make mistakes,
you're perfect. And everybody needs to live up to your standards don't
they?
(the comment starts to sink her)
Well I'm sorry that I couldn't be the woman that you wanted me to be. Maybe if you had paid more attention to me I wouldn't have had to turn to someone else. Maybe if you had given me more of your precious time, we wouldn't be in this position right now. I have needs you know. I'm not a machine, I'm human. I need to be fed love; I need to be kissed, held and caressed. Waking up after midnight to find that you have arrived from work but yet fast asleep satisfies nothing for me.
(she starts to reminisce within herself and it brings a painful smile to her face)
What happened to that spark anyway? You used to come home and we would dance into the night (demonstrates) Dancing would lead to kissing, then eventually…..
(she stops dancing; changes gears)
Now all I get is a an early morning/late night snore.
(she gives off a painful laugh)
There is no need to wonder why I stepped outside of our marriage. The behavior speaks for itself.
AUDITION SCENE
Listen, I want to make this as painless as possible. We are done, our relationship is over.
No please don’t try and explain anything to me because you will be wasting your time. There is nothing you can say that could even come close to justifying what I saw here today.
(Jason pauses. He can’t wrap his mind around the idea that the woman before him has hurt him this way. This changes his mood for a moment and in an obvious pained way, he asks…)
How could you?
After all that we have put into this relationship, how could you step out on our marriage like that? And with Bobby of all people? The neighborhood druggie? You must have been some kind of desperate. (realization) Or even worse…Maybe I just wasn’t good enough.
(Jason turns away. He fights going down that road of pity)
But why wouldn’t I be good enough? I have given you the best damned years of my life, I have been 100 percent faithful to you and I have moved mountains trying to get you everything you could possibly want. What on GOD’S green earth could have caused you to do something like this? And in my bed of all places? You had to do it in our bed???! Talk about twisting the knife. So how many times have you had these romps while I was off slaving 9 to 5 at work? One,two, three days out of the week? How long has it been going on? Weeks? Months? Don’t try and claim that this was an isolated incident which I just happen to walk in on. This has been a daily ride for you I bet. Well, how does that old saying go, you fool me once its my mistake but you fool me twice and I am the true fool. Well you won’t get a chance to fool me again..get out…
(Jason studies her)
You know what, spare me those crocodile tears. They are just as phony as you are.. NOW GET OUT!!!!
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STAN MONOLOGUE
(this scene is not from the actually live stage story just for auditioning purposes. You can hold
the script and read because of it being so short notice)
I mean for God sakes, I have followed your career for the last 10 years and all I’ve asked you to do was read my letter. But you couldn't even do that could you? You couldn’t take five minutes of your precious time and read the damned letter?! Do you even realize what your fans have done for you? Ive read your stories, you were some broke ass wigger living in the slums of Detroit around drug dealers, winos, gangsters, bullets and all types of physical abuse. You entered a rap contest and some PDIDDY-like record mogul saw you and appreciated your style. He took a chance on you, put you on wax and the fans ate up your music like hot cakes. You went from Detroit trash to worldwide phenomenon. From a ghetto that housed 5 siblings in one bedroom to a lavish, 12-room mansion in Beverly Hills.
But with all that success and support from your audience, you stand there and tell me that you cannot read every fan letter that you get? Not even when one is from your biggest fan ever? BULLSHIT!! It’s called giving back, its called respect. And if you can’t respect me and your trillions of fans that put you on top, then maybe you will respect this
(pulls out a gun)
This is the new millennium tool in getting respect. When it is impossible to earn it, you pull out the steel and respect magically appears. I am sick of you overnight celebrities who forget where you came from and more importantly who put you there. They say when you forget your past, your future is useless. That’s from Bacon the great writer from centuries long ago. What appropriate name for a writer, Bacon, because he has inspired me to kill a pig!
